Minding the Gap – Vlogٷ Mon, 08 Jan 2024 22:19:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 /wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-fav-icon-B-32x32.png Minding the Gap – Vlogٷ 32 32 Learning Coaches: An Option For Re-Imagined Learning /learning-coaches-an-option-for-re-imagined-learning/ /learning-coaches-an-option-for-re-imagined-learning/#respond Thu, 04 Jun 2020 16:53:43 +0000 /?p=7656
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A positive aspect of the COVID-19 pandemic was the opportunity to restructure the teacher-student relationship. It provided opportunities for teachers, parents, mentors and community members to re-orient themselves as Learning Coaches.

A Learning Coach is someone who sees and says things to help a student win at his or her learning. The context is a small yet fundamental shift away from teaching. Instead of content instruction, the focus is on relationship-centric practices that foster agency, growth and learning habits.

Even though we are back to in-person instruction, utilizing the perspective and approach of a Learning Coach can radically shift the relationship between Teacher and Student. To do this well, we work with Teachers to use the rich contextual orientation and three operational spheres described in this post.

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Orientation

  • Causing Best Self

Operational Spheres

  • Help Establish The Playing Field

  • Support Gaps/Creative Resourcing

  • Reach and Reciprocity

Causing Best Self

Note: The idea of Causing Best Self is a significant aspect of our Framework for Availability that we train educators, managers and facilitators in through our online course. The basic idea is below.

Beyond a vague notion of pop psychology, the context of Best Self can help ignite self-directed learning – a critical component of education that teachers rarely receive direct instruction about how to develop this vital trait. Having the teacher/coach understand and use “Causing Best Self” as a frame of reference shapes a needed foundation for any educational environment.

The idea of Causing Best Self is a solid, simple and elegant orientation that cuts through much of the barriers we often experience in communication and building relational spaces – even virtually. It creates a path of doing ‘with’ versus doing ‘to’ and produces faster activation of participation, learning, and collaboration.

In our work with groups, we created a definition of Best Self, and we find it to be well supported in research. We have seen it in action in hundreds of diverse settings. We say Best Self is an experience of, and/or an aspiration towards:

    • Self-agency

    • Being valued

    • Belonging

    • Connection

When students (and people in general) experience one or more of these, they have a sense of being their Best Self. Think about it for yourself: when you had an experience of any one of the four listed above, how did it feel to you? Were you proud of yourself, content or inspired? Were you interested in repeating whatever you did that caused that sense of Best Self? You felt this way because you experienced your ‘self’ meeting one of those basic needs.

Human beings also aspire toward these aspects. Students (and teachers, parents, etc.) desire experiences where they are autonomous, important, have a sense of being part of something and are in real relationship to others. This results in a powerful motivating force, any one of which can be used to help propel movement in the disaffected learner.

Because they are such vital aspirations and sought-after experiences, you can use these components of Best Self as a context or ethos to coach through. When coaches do this, they look for ways to give their ‘player’ an experience of self-agency, being valued, being connected and having a sense of belonging. This is a relationship-centric practice that can easily create a coach’s modus operandi. Using the lens of Best Self puts an expansive view of relationships at the forefront of the coach, and – as any great coach will tell you – paying attention to relationships significantly impacts success and human performance.

Finally, the key difference with this umbrella context is not what it is, but what it is not. It is not a drive for standards mastery, or testing improvement. It is not focusing on content achievement tracking or study habits. Those frameworks did not work well in the distance learning environment of a pandemic and they will not help a Teacher develop as a Learning Coach. What will work is relationship-based practices that put the learner at the center of their learning. This will take time to build momentum and see results, but we have a real opportunity with this context to reinvigorate a passion for learning that we all know often sees a steep decline from 4th to 9th grade. A Learning Coach who creates opportunities for students to have experiences of their Best Self while learning will find a ready and interested partner who will then be more willing to include some measure of needed competency and standards mastery. The added benefit for schools will be the parallel Social and Emotional development outcomes that will be achieved as students/coaches work concurrently on self-management, self-awareness, responsible decision-making and more.

Three Spheres of Work

The Learning Coach operates in three intertwining spheres as a basic framework with the learner. While any number of scenarios can work, we have found that one teacher needs 30 minutes a week/student to build a regular habit. This could mean 7-10 hours/week for a teacher with 15-20 students. This is a perfect role for mentors and community members to be trained in as well, which could free up time for the teacher to focus on higher-need learners.

Help Establish the Playing Field

This will be the biggest challenge for many teachers-as-coaches, as it upends a very traditional and mythical paradigm. Rather than the teacher outlining the scope and scale of the learning, a Learning Coach gives the pilot seat to the student. Why? Because students can build a self-directed learner muscle more easily if they are pursuing learning of their own choice and motivation, rather than something mandated or forced.

Within this sphere, the coach’s role is to help the learner define the playing field. The teacher will resist the temptation to define the playing field, but rather help the student think through:

  • What do you want to learn about or work on?

  • What will the learning look like?

  • What are the boundaries of study?

  • What might a final product look like?

Once a student has experienced some habit of self-agency and connection with the coach (key Best Self components), their disposition towards learning and their coach will shift and become more available – giving Coaches the chance to broaden the ‘playing field’ with learning that may not be student-choice.

Support Gaps/Creative Resourcing

The student-player is in the process of becoming just like all students – meaning he is not there yet. Hence the coach’s role to identify any areas that need extra attention and awareness. We find that the best method is to follow three steps: 1) Jointly align on what the gap is and get permission to coach; 2) Objectify the gap and coach from there using creative resourcing, and; 3) Combine when it’s time.

1. Jointly align/permission – Have a conversation to align on what gaps are present. Asking “What do you feel are things you might need to work on to have success with your project?” gives the student a chance to be the pilot. If you have perspectives to share about gaps you notice (and you have permission) share them. Prioritize which ones need attention first. We have found that every student from 4th grade on up (often earlier as well) has this ability to name their gaps. It is particularly important to note that they also almost universally appreciate the opportunity to go to work on them.

Permission is bedrock to coaching. We do not proceed until we have permission from the player to be their coach. This is a profound act and one that shifts the “doing to” mindset for both the coach and the student. It creates a spirit of mutuality and shared-responsibility. Read more about our take on Permission.

2. Objectify gaps – Rather than make the gaps a personality flaw or labeled as something ‘wrong’, turn them into objects and coach for success. If you have both identified that “procrastination” is going to get in the way and needs to be improved, put on your creative coaching hat and send in a ‘play’ to practice that object (objectifying the gap separates it from the content and makes it easier to work with). In this way, learning coaches do not need to be content experts, they need to be creative resource experts. A good sports coach does not look at a player who needs to run faster and says “run faster”, she devises strategies and games and drills that build speed. The Learning Coach must be fantastic at piecing together an array of resources that meet the needs of the student-player. Coaching creatively takes thoughtfulness. Our experience with coaches and mentors is that they stop way too early when looking for a creative solution. Let your imagination run and you will find that the more creative the play, the more success it will bring.

3. Combine when it’s time – Great coaches will break new learning into specific tasks only in the beginning. Once there is basic familiarity, combine gap responses

A recent teen I worked with was keeping his eye on two distinct aspects of himself to work on: procrastination and communication with his family: I combined his gap practice and coached him to share out loud with a family member when he was starting his learning, what he planned to accomplish and when he anticipated finishing. We tracked this ‘practice’ each day and talked about it’s impact, and a real shift came about in both areas.

Supporting gaps could look wildly different for different learners. Some may identify encouragement, or help finding information, or specific competencies like writing or solving for ‘x’. Your role is not to ‘run’, your role is to recognize that the student cannot see themselves when they are ‘running’. Coach towards the gaps you see, starting with the ones you both can align on.

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Reach and Reciprocity

This is the serve and return methodology of early childhood educators and the heartbeat of an experiential pedagogy. The first three steps have been detailed above.

  1. Identify the gaps or the learning the student is interested in

  2. Creatively resource the gap

  3. Have the student run the play

  4. THEN: Promote dialogue on performance and effort.

      • How did that go?

      • What worked? What did not work?

      • What was the value of that for you?

      • What would you do differently in the future?

  5. Repeat as needed, adjust or move on. Develop the routine so that you both get used to the learner ‘running a play’ and then returning to talk about it.

Teachers-As-Learning-Coaches may not seem like a significant shift, but the change in dynamic needs thoughtful preparation and training, and could well be the springboard we need to support learning as a lifestyle, rather than the coercive act it often is. There is a real opportunity here to help students and teachers move their mindset about learning towards a “doing with” rather than a “done to” paradigm.

Vlogٷ has been working with mentors, teachers and coaches for 20 years to find the best ways to build relational environments that support self-agency in young people. If you are interested in more information or would like to chat about what you have read, on our calendar or take a look at our online Mind the Gap Master Class.

]]> /learning-coaches-an-option-for-re-imagined-learning/feed/ 0 Best Virtual Meeting Strategies #2 /best-virtual-meeting-strategies-2/ /best-virtual-meeting-strategies-2/#respond Fri, 17 Apr 2020 17:11:36 +0000 /?p=7555 **In this new normal of remote work, how can you help connection thrive and maintain team performance? We are sharing effective strategies to boost engagement taken from our online Minding the Gap Master Class that are just as helpful in this new virtual world, where the “Gap” can be very evident.

One of the ideas from last week – “Begin Before It Begins” – received this comment from an educator in Nebraska:

“I have been scheduling weekly Zoom calls which have been good but I have been disappointed with the low numbers of students participating. Then I realized I was only sending out one short post on the Remind App. I decided after reading the post to take more time the day before and send the link by email and text and even Snapchat through my son’s account. The result was almost every student was on the call!”

This was one of three ideas in our last post to help get yourself and others connected and perhaps more importantly orient themselves towards the work and each other.Take a read through our next idea below and see where it may fit for you!

When Standards Fall, Highlight the Non-Normal

Have you noticed a creeping mediocrity in your life or the work of your team or students? There are plenty of recommendations out there to “take it easy” on ourselves, but when it comes to work and/or learning, you are likely expected to raise the bar (or at least keep it from slipping lower!).

No worries: try these steps towards an effective practice that checks so many positive benefit boxes in order to “Highlight the Non-Normal”:

  1. Turn up/Tune in your listening. In order to highlight something you have to notice it first. Simply reading this post is already tuning your observation systems to be on the alert, now just pay attention.

  2. Notice non-normal participation where someone went farther than usual or expected: they took the extra step, stretched themselves or went above and beyond. Someone may challenge an assumption, ask a difficult question or volunteer to pursue a complex task. Maybe you hear about or notice someone not giving into complacency, or trying out something off-the-wall. Whatever raises the bar on your team’s notion of ‘engagement’ or ‘participation’, notice it.

  3. Highlight it! Shine a spotlight on it in someway: appreciate/acknowledge the person, ask what difference that made, etc. – just do anything you can to put more focus on the action.

By paying attention to whatever that person did that was exemplary, you are shining a light on the quality of participation you want. When this new kind of participation gets highlighted, there is an implicit permission for others to participate at the same level. In that moment you have interrupted the normal script and moved the relational space to a place of dissonance*.

As more and more non-normal outputs are highlighted, a new-normal is created: the team now knows that a different kind of participation is standard in this setting. They will come to expect it and it will even carry over from session to session. As new employees or students join, they will adapt to whatever the ‘normal’ is, so the more engaged the better!

As the engagement bar gets raised and normalized, you will notice that:

  • people will get more value out of participating at that level

  • people are creating and experiencing heightened relationships with each other and there will be a great sense of belonging, a key predictor of a group’s success.

A final benefit and one we will share about in our next post is this: when you highlight the non-normal, you are helping yourself and others practice being comfortable with the uncomfortable. Simply put, teams and classes that can master this profound practice see an exponential increase in performance through heightened cooperation, creativity, focus, relationships and more.

As the pandemic alters normal all around us, use this tool to create a new-normal, based on qualities and competencies you want to foster in your team or classroom.

* In our Master Class we highlight this as a significant contextual understanding when working with people and we use the metaphor of the Elephant/Rider developed by Jonathan Haidt and used by Daniel Kahneman to help explain this vital neuroscience and the impact it plays when working to build engagement with individuals and groups. Check it out here.

Looking for a daily practice to help keep you or others connected to your ‘self’ and the world around you? Check out The Elementals – a new product from Vlogٷ.

 

]]> /best-virtual-meeting-strategies-2/feed/ 0 Best Virtual Meeting Strategies #1 /best-virtual-meeting-strategies-1/ /best-virtual-meeting-strategies-1/#comments Sun, 12 Apr 2020 23:51:43 +0000 /?p=7527
Learn More About Our Online, On-Demand Course!

**In this new normal of remote work, how can you help connection thrive and maintain team performance? Over the next two weeks we will share effective strategies to boost engagement taken from our Minding the Gap Master Class that are just as helpful in this new virtual world, where the “Gap” can be very evident.

Companies and teams are several weeks in now to this new reality of virtual meetings. If you were not used to them before or find yourself going a bit crazy after five hours of staring at Brady Bunch-like views of your colleagues, the three ideas below may help.

1. Begins Before it Begins

Remember how much work could often get done before the meeting, pre-shelter-at-home? You would have important conversations, you would create or examine an agenda, you might have passed someone in the hall and told her you look forward to hearing her ideas? This is vital stuff, so don’t stop now with this basic strategy.

How are you prepping yourself and others for the meeting? This is an important step that helps orient people towards the goals or the meeting’s purpose, rather than away from each other and the objectives.

If you are running the meeting, some good ideas include:

    • sending a calendar invite that has all the details about how to connect

    • an agenda inside the invite or an easily accessible link

    • an invitation to respond to the agenda (yes: this may open a ‘can of worms’ and you may have to put somethings off until later, but asking for feedback on an agenda is a great way to give people a sense of being valued, a key Best Self metric).

    • a rich appreciation/acknowledgement for everything people are juggling to participate

    • instructions on how to join (there are several of these logistic-friendly tips online on the tech stuff to keep an eye on. If this is your first virtual meeting, start with this one from the ).

If you are participating in the meeting, be sure to check out the agenda and respond – even if it is a ‘thank you!’ and test your tech!

Learn More About Our Online, On-Demand Course!

2. Create a Shared Intention

As a part of your pre-work, share an Intention for your group’s time together (put it directly on the agenda or the invite). An Intention is generally not the same as your Outcomes. It is a bit more encompassing and aimed at the 10,000′ view. It gives you a chance to identify your purpose for the meeting and letsothersline themselves up with it and see how it fits. Imagine if you were hosting a meal and the mischief that might be caused if everyone came to a meal with different ideas and expectations of what it would be like: some are expecting breakfast, others a hearty soup, some a formal dinner, etc. Reviewing the “meal” to come and thinking about what end result is desired allows for the possibility of alignment and collective action.

But don’t stop there! The real value of an Intention is letting people share out loud how it fits for them. Within the first phase of your virtual meeting ask people to share their thoughts and reactions to the Intention. What works for them? What is missing? What is valuable about it and why? (Notice these are not ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions – you are looking for real responses that stimulate dialogue and participation).

The responses you get to these questions give people time to align themselves to the work ahead, and creates a spirit of mutuality and belonging – key performance metrics for groups. Adjust the Intention as needed and return to it during your meeting as a truing device if needed. Read more about Creating a Shared Intention here…

3. Ask Yourself: “Am I Available?”

No, we don’t mean do you have time on your schedule! This question gets to the heart of the “Gap” that exists in all relationships: the willingness or disposition of one or more people to move towards a relational environment or away from it. The moreavailableyou are, the moreavailable will be the other participants in the meeting.

This question inserts a purposeful and mindful pause into the busydoing of the meeting. Whether you are a participant or the meeting leader, take a deep breath and ask yourself this question. If the pause helps you assemble a jumble of thoughts in your head and then gives you room to proceed on, great! But we also recommend giving yourself permission to answer “no”. It may be very likely that you are not available! You may be calling in from your home, with kids running around, no hopes of any home-schooling and your boss still expects the same performance objectives. Sometimes simply acknowledging this is enough to orient you towards your ‘self’ and helps you become more available. Or it may give you a good reason to check in with a friend or partner and vent a bit.

There are underlying contexts and connections to each of these tips and we will continue to add to them in our next posts. We know there is no magic wand, but after working with diverse groups in 20 countries around the world for the last 25 years, we have figured out some pretty effective ways of helping people “Mind the Gap” and create effective relational environments that work – even virtual ones!

Learn More About Our Online, On-Demand Course!
]]> /best-virtual-meeting-strategies-1/feed/ 2 Reflection Prompts For Leading Groups /reflection-prompts-leading/ /reflection-prompts-leading/#respond Fri, 20 Dec 2019 18:46:03 +0000 /?p=7151

Introduction

Reflection Prompts for Leading is one of several tools and processes you can be trained in through the Minding the Gap Master Class – an online, on-demand course from Vlogٷ that uses the Framework for Availability to help leaders, teachers, facilitators and coaches create Relational Environments with groups that naturally build learning, participation and collaboration. We offer the prompts below as a free introduction to the course. They are an example of similar tools we give that take advantage of the growing knowledge of neuroscience and the way human beings interact with the world.

All the tools in the class are designed to cause availability. Any leader who can help people be more available will see a significant increase in human performance. We have seen this work in the classroom, in workplace teams and in countless community groups and other diverse settings where people work together.

When Someone IS Available...

They are...

Open, Receptive
Considering
Adaptable
Willing
Tuned in and aware
Future oriented
Connected
Responsive

When Someone IS NOT Available...

They are...

Closed/Guarded
Distracted/Easily Preoccupied
Distant
Reactive
Not able to listen well
Limited view of the future
Risk-averse
Quick to blame

Creating environments where people are more available increases their ability to participate, learn and collaborate – key elements of human performance and achievement. An easy and high impact way to do this is to first cause availability in yourself. That is where the Reflection Prompts For Leaders will help!

Why Do The Prompts Work?

Have you ever worked with a group and been caught off-guard by logistic issues you did not plan for? Or have you had your agenda ‘blow up’ when a tangent issue took the focus off your main outcomes? Maybe you have had your enthusiasm and love for what you were doing disappear in frustration while you dealt with all the tiny details? We know what each of those situations feels like and the impact they can have on you achieving your objectives. We developed the Reflection Prompts For Leaders to balance the doing AND the being of working with a group. The prompts help ground you in the reality of your task while also creating a context that helps you keep sight of the larger view that often gets lost. This organizes your work while keeping it meaningful: a great pathway to building availability for yourself and others.

The Reflection Prompts For Leaders work in any situation where you are working with a group: classrooms, workshops, team discussions, staff meetings, community groups – you name it! We suggest you “put pen to paper” and write out the prompts, along with your answers. At first it will take some time to answer them well: take the time necessary and you will find they are a valuable preparation tool. Eventually you will get to the point where you can answer them swiftly and naturally in your head.

Reflection Prompts for Leaders Working With Groups

(Deeper descriptions of the prompts are accessible through a pdf download below)

Prompt #1

What are the 2 or 3 main outcomes that MUST arise for this to be a success?

Drilling down to the essential targets focuses your frame and diminishes distractions. Use this part of the tool to hone in on the essence of your work. Other things may be achieved, but this question compels you to declare what cannot be left out.

Prompt #2

What must I keep my eye on?

As you begin to answer this question, first pay attention to those things that if they are not managed, the whole work would be in jeopardy. While there may be countless things to “keep your eye on”, asking this question orients you to the micro and macro landscape of your time with the group.

Prompt #3

What is profound about this?

This question is purposefully evocative. It is very difficult to answer from a doing disposition. It places you in a disposition of being and availability. This question helps provide a necessary reminder about what is underneath your work. Why is not just important, but profoundly important?

The Reflection Prompts For Leaders

are designed to give you a taste of the tool and what is available in the Mind the Gap Master Class. For the full tool, example responses and an easy “whiteboard” template to carry with you in your work, register for the entire class.

Register Here

Complete the form to receive afree PDF download of this Reflections Prompts For Leaders Tool!

(we will never sell or misuse your information)

Name
]]> /reflection-prompts-leading/feed/ 0 Adrian Cabral – Shifting Perspectives /shifting-perspectives/ /shifting-perspectives/#comments Fri, 20 Jan 2017 21:54:57 +0000 /?p=1911 My name is Adrian, a participant of the Vlogٷ program. I went to South Africa with Vlogٷ in 2013 and it was an experience that an email, or even a in person meeting could not do justice. The South Africa team was actually supposed to go to Kenya. I was a part of a group that was going to be in a rural part of Kenya, where I thought I was going to get the “real Africa experience.” After a U.S mandated halt on all travel to the country, our trip to Kenya was cancelled. This was specifically important to me because after a training from Michael about our expectations v. outcomes, I realized that it was OK for me to live in spaces of ambiguity. I’d worked up an idea about Africa, and Kenya, and an experience that I thought I would have – and the fact that it turned out to be something I did not expect, broke me. It broke me and then it put me right back together when I started to shift my perspective on how I was approaching not only this small part of my life, but all aspects of my life.
I had done a lot of learning prior to departing for Kenya. While preparing for our trip to Kenya, I learned a great deal about myself. I knew that I was intelligent, and determined, and that I understood how to get good grades and make my teachers happy. What I didn’t really understand, was how to relieve myself of the constant stress of trying to be #1 and excelling, and connecting to folks. Vlogٷ focuses on understanding that although it is great to be on a path of knowledge and understanding, and rationalizing what we do, that there is a second path that will build character and connection to others in ways that are unimaginable: Vlogٷ calls this “being.” A part of being, is being able to connect and use our basic human resources in order to do that: things like our voice, tears, movement, laughter, and more.
I went into Vlogٷ introverted and detached from people: I left Vlogٷ with friends that I will keep forever. More than that, I left Vlogٷ understanding that if I can combine a couple of my basic human resources I can create compounds that allow me to connect to other people. For example, as I was leaving South Africa, I felt an urge to cry. I got on the van that was taking us back and it was my instinct to hold my hand up and say goodbye to my host mother one last time. As I did that, she did the same from the other side of the glass, and I saw tears in her eyes.
It was a moment like this, where I understood what Vlogٷ was about (or at least a small part of what it was about.) I used my movement, chose to raise my hand up. I was vulnerable: Felt like crying, and did that. And in turn, another woman from a completely different part of the world, did the same and for that small moment we really connected. Since Vlogٷ (and throughout the program,) I have been more reflective of myself, of how I am listening to people, serving people, collaborating with people, minding “gaps” with folks, how I use language, and how I am interacting with folks in ways that make me uncomfortable, and open.
]]> /shifting-perspectives/feed/ 1 Our Great Endeavor and the Fragile Moments /our-great-endeavor-and-the-fragile-moments/ /our-great-endeavor-and-the-fragile-moments/#respond Wed, 30 Nov 2016 20:12:05 +0000 /?p=1510 This references a parable in Luke 18:9-14…

Recently I have really appreciated being a city kid and moving to the country because I have be able to learn more about farming and food. I think it has really helped me appreciate and understand more about what farmers have to deal with.

One thing I have come to appreciate is how much of a great endeavor it is. There is this incredible lead up to harvest which is hard to under-appreciate: all kinds of effort, expense, thought, energy and time – all put in for one result. And so it is clear to see why harvest has such an association with thanksgiving and gratitude. There is so much put into it. So in farming there is this notion of a Great Endeavor…

The other thing I have appreciated is what I have come to think of as the presence of fragile moments during the life-cycle of a crop: times when things can go south very quickly. I heard one farmer talk recently about how tenuous is the time between when a soybean plant loses its leaves and is ready for harvest and when it actually is harvested. It is during this time that even the slightest hail or even a high wind storm can burst open the bean pods and leave them allon the ground, unable to be harvested.

Or talking with a farming family from this church, I was fascinated to learn that when you are growing popcorn, you have to be so careful in your harvesting: even the smallest percentage of grit, gravel or sand can make your corn unusable. So that fragile moment they must experience wondering “how well did we do at not picking up stuff that is not supposed to be there?” – what a tenuous time that must be.

In looking back on these conversations I sensedthat underneath them both was this notion of how important it was to name the reality of the moment. The farmers do all they can to not get into a mess at these times, but they also don’t shy away from naming the potential for the mess or that they are right in the thick of it when things don’t go so great. Being able to call it what it is, is important.

Naming or describing our reality is held up by lots of thinkers and philosophers as one of the greatest human gifts. This is when you are able to genuinely look around and name where and when you are in relation to the world around you…when you do this well you pull no punches and accurately place yourself where needed, even if that is in the tenuous middle of things that is so uncomfortable to acknowledge. Theresa Mancuso – an educator and a nun in NYC – highlights this by writing that “the thing we desperately need is to face the way it is”.

We don’t always face difficult things well though, because it feels so uncomfortable. I think our tendency is to name ourselves on the “right” side of the fragile moment and avoid getting into the messiness by justifying where we placed ourselves. When things get desperate we locate ourselves in some kind of position along with some kind of self-righteousness that helps us justify and feel good and safe about where we are. Kind of like “whew, thank goodness I am over here and not over there.”

However, when we name the reality like this it is not quite genuine, is it? It is more one-sided in a way that lets us avoid the desperation. Which actually makes sense for it feels much safer: who wants to feel desperate when you can easily avoid it by being ‘right’ about something? This is how the Pharisee comes across in the parable that Luke tells.

Rudyard Kipling, wrote “All the people like us is We and everyone else is They”. Every time we pick one of these ‘safe’ sides, we separate ourselves from others by attending to our side and getting ‘right’ about it. We create a We and a They, and we place ourselves on a righteous side of reality that lets us safely avoid dealing with the reality of what is in the middle – in the gap – right in the heart of the fragile moment.

It seems that during the last several months, the trap of putting ourselves in one group or another has been so easy to do. There are silos and sides all around us, within easy reach. It doesn’t take much to pick a side, and when we do, we get to avoid genuinely naming the fragile moment that is in-between.

But if we take even a moment to look at it, the desperateness is apparent in so many directions: whether it is in Aleppo in Syria or here in the U.S. with the disenfranchisement of the wealth inequality or the abuse and assault experienced by women; all that has been uncovered recently is all right there for us to name…or not. And there is the trap: our tendency is to choose a side and justify where we place ourselves, but the gap and the desperation and the tenuousness is still there even if the side we choose is ‘right’. The fragility remains no matter which side we agree with.

And so it may be that including ourselves in the tension and desperation – actually inserting ourselves in some way into the gap that is separating the We and the They is what is most needed. Getting into the muck and the mire truly brings the reality of the situation into closer proximity. It allows us to touch and deal with the reality in a way that placing ourselves in righteous land does not allow for.

And so I think this is our Great Endeavor. If we want to stand back and look at how to get to harvest time – this joyous time when we can look around and say “wow, we did it, we made it” – when we stand back and look at how to get there, it must be by willfully naming our complete reality. It must include us crying out – like the tax-collector – recognizing that we are indeed a mess and that the WE is not just a collection of a certain group that is separate from other certain groups. It is a WE that includes THEY. It is a WE that includes the whole kit and caboodle. It is a WE that has to be coming from a place of humble and even desperate recognition that our harvest – our well-being in the face of this fragile moment – must include everyone and everything.

When we do thatit has us then mind the gap. It has us connect ourselves and locate ourselves within the gap. Not standing safely on one side or the other while we thumb our noses across the void, it actually has us in the void swimming – maybe even flailing around – all while crying out to each other, to the god in each other, for some mercy; for the joint naming of the fragile moment.

]]> /our-great-endeavor-and-the-fragile-moments/feed/ 0 Dana Mulligan – Discovering the World Within /discover-the-world-within/ Tue, 22 Mar 2016 09:44:46 +0000 /?p=1109 My exchange history includes a single month in Uganda with Vlogٷ in 2013 and six months in Senegal with YES Abroad in 2015-2016. While I learned a great deal from both programs, I feel I grew far more during my month in Uganda than I did my six months in Senegal due to the Vlogٷ training, intention, and support I received before and during my time in Uganda.

Traveling abroad is always a valuable experience, but there are great depths that may never be discovered if you are not actively searching for them. Being overseas can easily be a purely superficial experience.

A new country has many fascinating sights, sounds, smells, and so on, which makes it easy to get swept up in appearance rather than substance. When I was trained and prepared by Vlogٷ I was able to take in the beautiful surface of Uganda, but also able to look deeper into myself and those around me. That ability made my time in Uganda life changing. I had found a new way of relating to the world around and within me, and forged many incredible relationships with both Ugandans and my fellow Vlogٷ that are still strong to this day. My time in Senegal was very different. While I still retained my Vlogٷ principles, YES Abroad did not provide similar training or encourage practicing something internal. I was swept up again and again in the superficial, and struggled with the personal growth that had come so naturally while I was in Uganda with Vlogٷ. Ultimately it’s difficult to compare my experiences since they were so very different, and I am incredibly grateful for the time I spent in both countries, but my hardships in Senegal made me realize the importance of having an intentional and internal practice like I did in Uganda.

]]> Caroline Meserve – Mind the Gap /blog-mind-the-gap/ Wed, 16 Mar 2016 15:45:48 +0000 /?p=1112 London was great because every time I boarded the Tube I was reminded to “mind the gap” – (The motto of Vlogٷ). I minded the gap within the relationships I made there but most importantly I minded that gap between myself and my surroundings. I got to experience so much last year and it would have been a shame if I had not been truly present for it.

I intentionally made choices that made me uncomfortable and more aware of these gaps. I know from my Vlogٷ training that there is so much to gain from doing what makes me uncomfortable, which is what led me to choose a year long study abroad program where I would be traveling by myself, not with my school.

I learned how to keep pushing, figure things out on my own, ask for help when I needed it and play at a new level. While I was there I did something that was uncomfortable everyday, from starting a conversation with someone new to exploring a different part of London or traveling to another country for a weekend. “Minding the gap” and “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable” were extremely important aspects of my year but I think the biggest thing I took with me to London was paying attention to my limiting beliefs. There were A LOT of times I caught myself thinking that I was not smart enough to study at the London School of Economics or not strong enough to be away from everyone I knew for a year. Similarly, moving across the world by myself was terrifying and overwhelming and I made mistakes. Being able to recognized my limiting beliefs in the moment was wildly important because I was smart enough and strong enough to handle it. Once I identified that these thoughts were limiting me, I was able to confront them and spend my energy learning and being in London.

]]> Natalie Walter – Expectations, Upset and Possibility /expectations-upset-and-possibility/ Wed, 16 Mar 2016 15:34:03 +0000 /?p=1091

I traveled to Kenya in 2011 with Bold Leaders when I was 17, and I traveled to Nepal two years later. I called my Vlogٷ coach Michael a little bit before I left; I was nervous to be gone for two and a half months, with much of that time spent with no internet or phone service, no lights or plumbing. Over the phone, Michael guided me to take out a piece of paper and begin to draw. There were two paths in this drawing, starting on the left side of the paper. One started at the word “possibility,” and one started at the word “expectation.” Both paths went through an upset in the center of the drawing. But, the path that started out as possibility remained possibility on the other side.

These are not instructions to not plan; these are not instructions to fail to carry the medicine with you that will inevitably be needed when your sensitive American stomach can’t handle the untreated Nepali water you drink. I’ve needed to face threats to the safety of the group I was leading in Palestine and Israel, when shots were fired; to be very conscious of myself when my Peruvian classmates in Lima had to understand me through me gringa accent; to translate for an eager group of college students volunteering in Guatemala, while questioning myself why we were even there and if we were helping or harming by coming in and leaving so quickly.

Moments like these have required that I am prepared, yes. But when you focus on a predetermined outcome for travel in things that you can’t control – I WILL return fluent in Spanish, I WILL make a difference in this Nepali community, I WILL teach my group ways they can fight injustice – when the upsets come, they remain upsetting. I’ve learned to be conscious of my thoughts.

In minding the gap, I recognize that culturally, many people and I are not going to understand each other right away, and that it is always worth trying anyway. In being comfortable being uncomfortable, I accept that there is only so much you can plan for in life and in travel. Possibility is not one of those things, and it is something to embrace.
]]> Understanding Alignment /alignment/ Wed, 10 Feb 2016 14:39:49 +0000 http://boldleaders.net/?p=1039

Brady Rhodes

Co-Director, Vlogٷ

Understanding Alignment

For the last 15 years I have been able to chew on, think through, play with and take apart some concepts and conversations that I find really valuable. The best part has been that I have done this in tandem with thousands of people from around the world, diverse in every way you can imagine. One such concept has been the difference between Agreement and Alignment.

Think through this with me: it is easy to Agree or Disagree with something. We simply do it and our position is NOT dependent or tied to another person’s position. It is happening all over the world today: silos getting built, either-or’s staked to the ground, the seemingly black or white choices set to anchor. There may be and often are lots of others who are agreeing or disagreeing with us – most of the time it is why do it to begin with – but ultimately it doesn’t matter if they are there or not. When it comes to our agreement or disagreement, we can do that all on our own.

Contrast that with the idea of Alignment, which when we look at the definition includes positioning something relative to something else. When a mechanic aligns the wheel of a car, he/she always does it in relation to the position of the other wheels. When working for alignment with another person or idea, I must hold my perspective up and adjust its position relative to the perspective of others, who are doing the same thing from their viewpoint. We all need to squint and adjust and take out some other tools (such as observation, listening, participation, questioning, voice) to tap and shift and line up the angles so that our perspectives – which may still be different – are in alignment. Can I disagree with another’s perspective yet still align myself with them in a direction that we both believe is needed? You bet! My aligning with another – whether flavored by disagreement or not – now allows for the possibility of coherent movement together towards some other thing. It is this OTHER THING which is the whole point of the alignment: to jointly move towards, with the possibility of arriving at, some perspective or outcome that was not visible to us before. This OTHER THING could actually have only been created by our mutual aligning.

The Agree/Disagree way of being could never have gotten us there. To keep with the analogy, an Agree/Disagree tire (perspective) can be positioned any way it wants because it does not need to reference its location against anything else. Tighten the lug nuts and off we go, for better or worse! When I agree or disagree, there is no need to reference my position or perspective to anything or anyone else; “I agree!” or “I disagree” is enough! Listening, considering, questioning, noticing – none of this is required in this world. Simply saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ gets you to a location or a direction to set your wheel.

Another term to consider when aiming for alignment is Paradoxical Curiosity – being able to jointly hold two disparate truths in existence long enough to uncover a third thing that was not in existence before. That can only happen if I hold my ‘wheel’ up against your ‘wheel’ and adjust each until they drive straight in tandem with each other at the same time. Then together we can journey down a road that may lead us to a place we would not have gotten to on our own.

In Vlogٷ we ask people to look at where they are spending a lot of time and energy agreeing or disagreeing. We also ask them to consider what a conversation for alignment with the ‘other’ would look like, and what the potential value might be. We do this against a backdrop of connected ideas and methodologies that help cause Bold Leaders, which we say issomeone who chooses to move beyond the limitedparameters of what is commonly accepted in order to cause valuable perspectives to arise that were not apparent before.

Are you interested in being a Bold Leader? Try out the Mind-the-Gap Master Class! This is an on-demand, virtual class you can do at your own pace that takes key elements of our Framework and gives them to you through a series of engaging video presentations and visuals.

Learn More About The Master Class
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