Savannah Ducharm – Letting Go of Bittersweet Defenses

Savannah Ducharm — Sun, 03 Jul 2016 09:48:37 +0000

My truth is that there are a lot of things you can say to convince yourself and other people of who you are. You can fill your lungs with what you think they want to hear. But if you do that, nothing comes back to you. You are left exasperated. Letting go isn’t comfortable, since these things become bittersweet defenses to things you feel you can’t change. In a new country, with these new people, you’ll want to hold onto these defenses more than ever. You’ll feel small at times and out of control.

I used to criticize myself for holding on so tightly. You’ll see why it had to be that way. You were small so you could grow. What’s hard about being told to grow is wanting it so badly. Just know, that whatever you’re feeling is okay. My advice is to try and listen before you think of what to say. Forgive yourself when you don’t. Mind the gap that carries all that space between where you are and where you want to be. Be grateful. There is something in you that begs for this. And now you are being given an opportunity to learn some humbling, beautiful, extraordinary lessons.

There are times, often times, when I feel like that sixteen-year-old girl in another country, (Kenya) for the first time. Right now I’m sitting in an empty pink bedroom, in a creaky green house, in the colorful city of Valparaíso, Chile. There is no way I could have prepared myself for how uncomfortable I am. But I laugh about it. I’m constantly falling in love with this strange place. In large part because of my training, I am patient. I listen like my life depends on it. I regard people as leaders. I regard myself as a leader. My story rests somewhere like inspiration. When parts of my insecurity catch me, I am patient again.

Just remember, despite how it might feel, you’re the one who asked for this. Your future self will look back and regard you as a teacher.

Hannah Urtz – Creation of the Self

Hannah Urtz — Mon, 28 Mar 2016 09:38:07 +0000

When we set out to travel, it is often with a busy mind and a hopeful heart. Amidst the anticipation, guidebooks are consulted, weather reports are checked, and lovely screenshots of our destination begin to occupy our desktops. There is purpose in this, but this kind of preparation lacks the intention that has the power to transform a trip into a profound human experience. We travel, of course, to see new sights, taste new delicacies, and to be so deeply stirred that even our old lives may be seen through new lenses. Essentially, we look to gain vital global perspective and enjoy a respite from our regular routines. Yet, part of the beauty of leaping from one’s comfort zone into the unknown is not just the discovery of new lands, but the discovery and the creation of the self and one’s capabilities.

New and uncomfortable situations are fertile ground for massive internal shifts: the realization of dreams, self-reckoning, and the awakening of power. Yet this does not occur merely because of the whimsy and romance of the world; it is deliberate. It is the consequential byproduct of set intention, self-reflection and practice in an unfamiliar situation. Though it may seem like the new and exciting land is the most important part of this equation, it is the deliberate way of being with which one enters this foreign land that remains the most impressive agent of change. It is only through internal preparation prior to travel that this can be achieved.

As someone who has now spent some time living abroad in places very different from the US, I have come to realize just how vital these lessons are, not only in my own self-understanding, but also in merely functioning on a day-to-day basis. In preparing an internal project, I have been able to set an intention that has opened me up to more profound and beautiful human experiences. In practicing my being (a difficult task for a self-proclaimed knower) I find myself at ease and sure in difficult times, and true to myself in others. In reflection I understand myself, my growth and my place. My time abroad has facilitated, necessitated and demonstrated all of this, though it has not created it. I have done that (and I continue to work on it!), quite purposefully, once I had been prepared.

Identity – ����Vlog�ٷ�

Savannah Ducharm – Letting Go of Bittersweet Defenses

Hannah Urtz – Creation of the Self

Identity – ��Vlog�ٷ�